Amrit

 There's something I'd like to get off my chest

For 26 years I've been feeling oppressed

 "There's just no demand for that size dear

"(though you're the third one who's asked today)

"Go up a strap size - come down a cup size

"That's really all I can say."

 26 years I've been hearing that

Thinking "Something here's not right:

"I want to give them my money -

"They want to give me a fight!"

 So I'm walking down Bearwood High Street

On a Tuesday (that's important) on the way to the shops

When something catches the corner of my eye

So I stop.

It's a newspaper article about Amrit, the award-winning bra doctor

Seeing hundreds of women in ill-fitting bras really shocked her

Her mission and vision are simple -

You want to but the right size? You can -

You want double A? She's your lady;

You want triple J? She's your man

As it were.

I've read it three times now: I'm loitering

I'm feeling a bit of a twit.

I march up to the counter and say

"Yes - I'd like a fit!"

As it were.

She said, "You just wait right there, dear"

Well, the queue was out the door.

But I wasn't going anywhere

Some things are worth waiting for.

Straight away I felt in safe hands -

That Goldilocks moment - just right

Daddy Bear's in for some fun tonight!

So now I am a walking advertisement, me -

And if you're curious, 32 double D

If you're feeling a little down-hearted

If your self esteem's in bits

If you know you could use a bit of a lift

I've one thing to tell you and it's

Put your cheque book in your pocket

Take yourself off to Amrit's

If you're longing to feel liberated

burn your bra

And then buy one that fits!