Teeming and Lading

 Teeming and Lading sounds so banal that no one can even remember it

But the effects of the fraud are quite final - it'll take your organisation and dismember it

It's usually not a deliberate fraud - looks innocent like most lobster cages

Life is hard and - 'Hey, I'm a genius I am! We'll pay this tax bill from next month's wages!'

If it becomes habitual,

Here's what you will find

However much you may try to catch up, 

You'll fall further and further behind

 

There are three ways to try Teeming and Lading

You can do it with stock, time or money

If it's stock or money it's simple -

You get caught, you're off to Barlinnie

Here's what you should know

Whichever one you choose

There's no way you can win now

You've decided to lose

 

Our gap was some years and counting

Which made me lose sleep at nights

And it got me and my manager

Into some hideous, horrible fights

 

He said it was business as usual

He called it a manageable load

It wasn't him looking through seven lever arch files

For one retrieval request for one client code

 

You can't slowly phase out Teeming and Lading - 

Show it the door, hand it its coat

But if you leave the door open by even a crack

It's back, with its tongue down your throat

My husband said 'Tupping and Ladling'

And at the risk of you thinking me crude

If that was its name, that would neatly explain

Why I'm feeling quite so misconstrued.